28
Jan 2014
Matt Bourgault

Something’s a little off

Matt begins to slowly lose his mind.

It’s not just the fact that my internet connection keeps flickering in and out. I feel like I’m trapped in the worst episode of the Twilight Zone of all time.

It would be fitting, too. I sort of need some good, old-fashioned, supernatural comeuppance for my ability to not get work done. Maybe this is what Hell is like, it’s certainly warm enough.

That’s the first thing that I noticed wasn’t right. You see, the temperature in Omaha is a balmy negative bazillion degrees. Couple that with the fact that my windows are drafty (due to the permanently-installed air conditioners), and it should be pretty cold in here. But it’s not. The air is like blankets. Big, Glen Davis-thick blankets.

While this is going on, I keep falling asleep for amounts of time that seem way longer than they actually are. I swear I’ve take three 4-hour naps in the last 30 minutes. My internal clock is telling me it’s tomorrow at noon.

And all of this is making it difficult to accomplish anything, which may or may not have been the problem to begin with. I’m not doing any reviews, which is too bad, because I was really looking forward to the Step Brothers album. Even if I wanted to send out links to whatever this post is, I can’t because of the temperamental internet in this building.

So here I sit for all eternity. A man left to wonder why the room’s so hot and why his right foot is the only thing able to fall asleep for a good length of time. Meanwhile, mounds and mounds of unfinished work pile on whatever the proper name for this TV stand thing I use for a table next to a couch is. It’s going to be a terrible existence, stuck in this moment. That, or there’s some sort of gas leak in my apartment.

I guess we’ll never know.