17
Jan 2014
Matt Bourgault

Film Friday four-pack

Matt takes a look at Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, Ride Along, Devil’s Due and The Nut Job.

Welcome to Film Friday, where I outline the movies opening for the week with the utmost professionalism.

Today was a busy day in the film industry, with four films seeing a wide release. Luckily for me I don’t have class on Fridays, so it would be reasonable for me to pretend I spent all day at the cinema. I didn’t actually do that, though, because a lot of my Friday was dedicated to participating fantasy baseball mock drafts. I’m definitely not going pitching-first this season.

Besides, it’s January, the notorious month when everything not gunning for awards is just being dumped indiscriminately. In the spirit of this glorious month, I will be reviewing these movies using sweeping generalities from just the trailers. Let’s get it.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Jack Ryan Trailer

Now before we even get into the trailer, it’s obvious that Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit needs to do everything in its power to differentiate itself from 2012’s Jack Reacher: Double Entendre. The trailer centers around Captain New Kirk as he becomes some sort of secret agent/diplomat/shadowy business guy.

The convoluted nature of the trailer undoubtedly foreshadows what the Tom Clancy-inspired has in store for the audience. Ten bucks says a government conspiracy is involved.

I kid, but I enjoy Chris Pine as an actor. On the director’s side, Kenneth Branagh directed Thor, a movie I liked a little more than anyone I talked to about it.

All signs point to a competent and dumb action flick.

3/5.

Ride Along

Ride Along Trailer

Another super hero film veteran (and by veteran, I mean he made those Fantastic Four movies), Tim Story directs this buddy cop/action movie starring Ice Cube and Kevin Hart.

I really, really, want Kevin Hart to go away. I understand that this is the peak of his popularity, but there has to be some way to keep him from being in every single commercial during NBA broadcasts. He’s not funny. Loud is not funny; it’s loud and annoying.

Ice Cube is the only reason I’m giving this thing two stars. One is for Friday and the other is because I’m sure Ice Cube has a reason for starring in all of these bad movies.

2/5.

Devil’s Due

Devil’s Due Trailer

Oh sweet, a found-footage horror movie? To celebrate the occasion, I’ve made a nice little list.

Things that are novel ideas (in Opposite Land):

1. Found-footage horror films

2. Kevin Hart as comic relief

3. Singing Sweet Caroline at sporting events

Take that, Neil Diamond.

In all seriousness, the title implies that this woman is ACTUALLY BIRTHING THE DEVIL, so that could be worth a chuckle or two.

1.75/5

The Nut Job

The Nut Job Trailer

Seriously? The Nut Job? Is that what we’re doing here? Makes me wish I had saved that Jack Reacher joke.

I don’t think I’ve seen a single piece of marketing for this film before I started typing this. Couple that with the fact that it’s January and things don’t look too good. Hopefully Will Arnett will have more success playing Batman in The Lego Movie.

I am so hyped for The Lego Movie.

1.75/5